Dont: What you shouldnt do in these circumstances is blatantly question the persons ability to handle the situation at hand, or try to argue with them. Any response that can be interpreted as accusatory or doubting the persons ability to handle their own affairs only serves to anger and put them on the defensive, says Napoletan. Are you a caregiver or family member of someone with dementia? Do any of these situations sound hippie familiar to you? We want to hear your stories — share them with us in the comments below. Related Articles: Dementia care dos don'ts: dealing with Dementia behavior Problems posted by sarah Stevenson.
If youre curious and dont want to ask, take a look at a heating bill, suggests Mariotto. Sometimes payments are delinquent or bills arent being paid at all. You can also flip through their checkbook and look at the math, or have them figure out the tip at a restaurant. The Alzheimers Association says to be encouraging and reassuring if youre seeing these changes happen. Also, you can often minimize frustration and embarrassment by offering help in small ways with staying organized. This is what Napoletan did for her mother: As I sifted through records to complete her tax return, i gently mentioned noticing a couple of overdraft fees needed and asked if the bank had perhaps made a mistake. As we talked through it, she volunteered that she was having more and more difficulty keeping things straight, knew she had made some errors, and asked if I would mind helping with the checkbook going forward. I remember her being so relieved after we talked about. From there, over time, napoletan was gradually able to gain more control over her mothers finances.
These can contribute to delusions, or untrue beliefs. Some of these problems are obvious, such as when someone is hoarding household items, or accuses a family member of stealing something. Some are more subtle, however, and the person may not realize that they are having trouble with things that they never used to think twice about. According to napoletan, There came a time when I began to suspect my mom was having problems keeping financial records in order. At the time, she was living independently and was very adamant about remaining in her house. Any discussion to the contrary, or really any comment that eluded to the fact that she may be slipping, was met with either rage or tears. It was when she asked me to help with her taxes that I noticed the checking account was a mess. DO: First youll want to assess the extent of the problem.
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Alzheimers or dementia, says Ann. It just cant be done. In fact, says Mariotto. A lot of times were triggering the essay response that were getting because of the questions were asking. This was another familiar situation for Ann and her mother. I learned this one the hard way.
We went through a particularly long spell where every time i came to see my mom, she would have everything packed up ready to go—everything! Too many times, i tried to reason with her and explain that she was home; this was her new home. Inevitably things would get progressively worse. Common Situation #3: poor Judgment, examples: Unfounded accusations: you stole my vacuum cleaner! Trouble with math or finances: Im having trouble with the tip on this restaurant bill. Other examples include unexplained hoarding or stockpiling and repetition of statements or tasks. Explanation: The deterioration of brain cells caused by Alzheimers is a particular culprit in behaviors showing poor judgment or errors in thinking.
Examples: Statements such as I want to go home!, This isnt my house., When are we leaving? Why are we here? Explanation: Wanting to go home is one of the most common reactions for an Alzheimers or dementia patient living in a memory care facility. Remember that Alzheimers causes progressive damage to cognitive functioning, and this is what creates the confusion and memory loss. Theres also a psychological component, says Mariotto: Often people are trying to go back to a place where they had more control in their lives.
DO: There are a few possible ways to respond to questions that indicate your loved one is confused about where he or she. Simple explanations along with photos and other tangible reminders can help, suggests the Alzheimers Association. Sometimes, however, it can be better to redirect the person, particularly in cases where youre in the process of moving your loved one to a facility or other location. The better solution is to say as little as possible about the fact that they have all of their belongings packed and instead try to redirect them—find another activity, go for a walk, get a snack, etc., says Napoletan. If they ask specific questions such as When are we leaving? You might respond with, we cant leave until later because the traffic is terrible / the forecast is calling for bad weather / its too late to leave tonight. You have to figure out whats going to make the person feel the safest, says Mariotto, even if that ends up being a therapeutic lie. Dont: Lengthy explanations or reasons are not the way. You cant reason with someone who has.
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In my write moms case, she didnt like to be fussed over. If she was upset, oftentimes trying to talk to her and calm her down only served to agitate her more. Likewise, touching her—even to try and hold her hand or gently rub her arm or leg—might result in her taking a swing. The best course of action in that case was to walk away and let her have the space she needed. Dont: The worst thing you can do is engage in an argument or force the issue thats creating the aggression, napoletan says. Dont try to forcibly restrain the person unless there is absolutely no choice. Mariotto agrees: The biggest way to stop restaurant aggressive behavior is to remove the word no from your vocabulary. Common Situation #2: Confusion About Place or Time.
People with dementia are more apt to hit, kick or bite florida in response to feeling helpless or afraid. Ann Napoletan, who writes for m, is all too familiar with this situation. As my moms disease progressed, so did the mood swings. She could be perfectly fine one moment, and the next she was yelling and getting physical. Often, it remained a mystery as to what prompted the outburst. For her caregivers, it was often getting dressed or bathing that provoked aggression. DO: The key to responding to aggression caused by dementia is to try to identify the cause—what is the person feeling to make them behave aggressively? Once youve made sure they arent putting themselves (or anyone else) in danger, you can try to shift the focus to something else, speaking in a calm, reassuring manner. This is where truly knowing your loved one is so important, says Napoletan.
one of the most upsetting aspects of caring for someone with Alzheimers or another type of dementia — and its frustrating for those with the disease and for loved ones. Although it can be hard to understand why people with dementia act the way they do, the explanation is attributable to their disease and the changes it causes in the brain. Familiarize yourself with some of the common situations that arise when someone has dementia, so that if your loved one says something shocking, youll know how to respond calmly and effectively: Common Situation #1: Aggressive actions or Speech. Examples: Statements such as I dont want to take a shower!, i want to go home!, or I dont want to eat that! May escalate into aggressive behavior. Explanation: The most important thing to remember about verbal or physical aggression, says the Alzheimers Association, is that your loved one is not doing it on purpose. Aggression is usually triggered by something—often physical discomfort, environmental factors such as being in an unfamiliar situation, or even poor communication. A lot of times aggression is coming from pure fear, says Tresa mariotto, family Ambassador at Silverado senior living in Bellingham,.
Still, even responsible dog owners can sometimes find themselves searching for a good home for their beloved pet. Unexpected circumstances, good illness, injury, death, economic collapse. Because our rescues and shelters are packed full, responsible pet owners have an increasingly tough time finding a good home for their pets and are turning to direct-to-consumer classified ads, like craigslist or the local newspaper, thinking that theyre doing the right thing for their. Sometimes, a good samaritan finds a stray dog and, rather than call animal control and risk the dog being euthanized, will put up a classified ad to find a new home. We visited Craigslists pet classified section and contacted several dog owners offering free to a good home dogs on the site with questions about their dogs, their reason for re-homing them, and their decision to use a classified ad for their precious dogs. Most advertisers ignored us, but a few responded. Heres what we found. Mid-to-late stage dementia often presents challenging behavior problems.
Dog owners may mean well when they post free to a report good home classified ads in order to rehome their dogs. In truth, it may be placing the dog in serious danger. Every responsible dog owner or pet parent knows that getting a dog is a life-long commitment. From the moment you open your heart and home to a loyal dog, youre in it for the long haul, through sickness and health, ups and downs, good and bad, through snuggles on the couch to picking up the pieces of yet another pair. Responsible dog owners make decisions with their dog in mind. We dont move to a new home without making sure the furkids are welcomed in the new community, we dont spend frivolously without making sure the dog is cared for first, and, when times get tough, well skip a meal so that the dog still. Unfortunately, not all dog owners are responsible. Close to 4 million dogs enter rescue shelters each year in the United States alone, with about 60 of these facing euthanasia. Shelters and animal rescues are busting at the seams as a direct result of irresponsible pet ownership.